Let’s be clear. If a person sexually harasses another, it’s on them. They should not be doing it and there is nothing they could say by way of explanation that makes it any less their fault. However, there are some things that can make it more likely to happen. One of these is the culture of tipping in restaurants and bars combined with the power of client reviews on the internet.
Some people seem to believe that because they are paying extra for the service, by way of a tip, they are in some way “buying” the server. They don’t think they can take them away, of course, but they might have unreasonable expectations of their relationship with the server.
For example, they might feel they have a right to flirt with the server and he should either flirt back, feel flattered or smile, but not, in any circumstances, get annoyed by it.
Or they might feel they have a right to grab the server’s behind, tell her she should smile more or make a lewd joke at her expense.
The server may feel under pressure to accept it
While the server should feel as though they have the right to call out the client and have their boss take action, often they don’t due to the tipping culture. They worry that upsetting a client by calling them out could hurt their tips. They might worry that their boss would either not back them up or call them, rather than the client, out on it.
The boss in turn might worry that the client will leave them a poor review if they tell them off or throw them out for harassing the staff member.
Servers can also feel pressured by employers and clients to dress sexily or flirt with customers in order to gain enough tips to make ends meet.
Your employer has a duty to provide you with a safe place to work and to stop sexual harassment taking place if made aware of it. If they don’t, you may need to review your legal options.
